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September 16, 2011 / Dan Whipple

Impractical cats

There’s this cat makes its way 2,000 miles from the backwoods of Colorado to the bright lights of New York, walking, hitchhiking, riding the rails, fending off amorous toms, sleeping in cardboard crates, and under bridge abutments. Chasing the American dream, Frank Sinatra ringing in her head, “If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere.” She wanders up and down Broadway, going to casting calls, contacting agents, rejection after rejection, living on crumbs, working as pest control at a Lebanese restaurant. She finally gets a callback for the lead in a revival of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. So she stops in for a celebratory drink at the Water Club and what happens? Some guy snatches her, sends her back to Colorado! “There are tons of coyotes around here, and owls,” is the last thing she hears them say about Boulder, Colo., when they load her on the plane. Swell.

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